Life in Inkopolis Squidmas Special
by ARandomInterloper
Summary: A non-canon Squidmas special that's caught up to where my stories are now. You may have a hard time understanding who some of these characters are if you haven't been reading and it contains some spoilers from my other stories. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!


**Author's Note: I wanted to make something for the holidays, but couldn't think of a way to put it in my stories in a way that made sense timeline-wise. I could get away with it having Splatoween in ROTL, but my other stories start more around Summer time.**

 **I couldn't really get to the Winter holidays without a timeskip that wouldn't make sense story-wise…yet…so enjoy this non-canon Squidmas special!**

 **It mostly borrows story elements from "Into the Salmonlands" with obvious differences, mostly for fun. So reading my previous stories would help this make more sense.**

…

 **Message start…**

 **Squidmas Eve Night…**

 _Twas the night before Squidmas and all through the house,_

 _Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse._

 _Then again, that would surprise no one,_

 _For all furry creatures minus two cats were already gone._

 _..._

 _Then into an apartment, without a fuss,_

 _Came the senile old fart Cap'n Cuttlefish dressed as Father Squidmas._

 _And alongside him, a happy little elf._

 _It was the Salmonling Terry learning to make money for himself._

 _A job was just done and they were off to bed_

 _For early bird catches the worm as Cuttlefish said._

 _A human expression the squids clearly stole_

 _Just like everything else in that city-wide waste hole._

 _..._

 _Elsewhere, a few doors away,_

 _Sarah and Guyver were about to end their day._

 _The two had just gotten ready for bed_

 _And Guyver tucked Sarah in with a kiss on the head._

 _He was about to leave the room, but was asked to stay,_

 _Sarah saying "Why not? Tomorrow's Squidmas Day!"_

 _..._

 _Having just left a Squidmas party several blocks down_

 _Were four good friends just clowning around._

 _Otis winning a faux swordfight with Damien_

 _Only to be taken down himself by Samantha, yet again._

 _Zoey sipped hot cocoa while watching the sight_

 _Hoping that Damien would be quite alright._

 _..._

 _Elsewhere, the Squid Sisters have a ball_

 _Hosting a party that includes musicians one and all._

 _From groups that have a large amount of fame,_

 _To small groups like the Tanin Trio-wait, make that your band's name!_

 _The Squid Sisters would share presents with Marina and Pearl,_

 _Though the thought of those two getting anything makes me want to hurl!_

 _..._

 _Elsewhere at the plaza, an Octopus took a seat_

 _As he showed his protégé how to drop an Octivus beat._

 _Sylvia, sipping cocoa, watched with glee_

 _While Ivan sat in a sweater that was shella ugly._

 _It is interesting how little the protégé knows_

 _Perhaps for the best though, for he might find himself with foes._

 _..._

 _Back in Cirrina, for the holiday,_

 _Amphia helped the Ligos with their Squidmas display._

 _Though distracting herself hanging decorations everywhere,_

 _Amphia still wished her son could be there._

 _Stanley calmed her with a jingle to sing_

 _And while there may be some tension between them, they won't be a thing._

 _..._

 _Down in Octo Canyon, in the domes deep,_

 _Cassandra had some trouble getting to sleep._

 _She wondered if it'd help to get massaged in Octopia,_

 _Then looked to Arnold and got an idea._

 _She hopped on Arnold, who woke with a fright,_

 _Straddled him and said "I'm yours for the night."_

 _Arnold rolled his eyes, thinking "Not this again"_

 _And told her "Okay Cass, untie me then."_

 _Cass pouted and whined, saying "You'll just run away"_

 _And Arnold replied "Then you don't get any today."_

 _Cass rolled back over and called him a pain in the butt,_

 _And prayed that one day, she'll get a smut._

 _..._

 _Back above at the Cabin were Beth and Mei_

 _Who were resting there after patrolling today._

 _Mei got up from the couch where she'd reside_

 _And asked Beth to stop smoking and come back inside._

 _Beth agreed due to the cold weather_

 _And the two relaxed on the sofa together._

 _Beth then decided to go for a kiss,_

 _But Mei stopped her, saying "Brush your beak, Miss!"_

 _Beth did just that to avoid her girlfriend's wrath_

 _And Mei teased her, saying "Now if you'd only take a bath."_

 _A second opinion: Both of you stink!_

 _If not in body, then in soul is what I've come to think._

 _..._

 _At the Rivers, the Salmon would rest_

 _For fighting in the cold winter snow would not be best._

 _Salmonlings around a fire would sing aloud_

 _While one played a fiddle that Finnia had found._

 _She would start a song and the rest would follow_

 _And each would eat a roasted marshmallow._

 _When they'd run out, they would start feeling sore_

 _Until their Papa would return to them with plenty of bags more._

 _..._

 _Elsewhere at the Gorge what could be found_

 _Was a lone Inkling playing piano in the lounge._

 _She'd play her mother's song to calm her fear_

 _Not knowing that nearby, an Elite Octoling would hear._

 _Swaying his head to the pleasant sound,_

 _He'd leave quietly when she'd stop and look around._

 _..._

 _All of these souls rest in quiet moonlight_

 _As they all enjoy their Squidmas Eve night._

 _..._

 _As for me though, I just sit and observe_

 _As these superfluous nobodies inhabit the earth._

 _I choose to leave them alone for now though,_

 _As I need to maintain focus on fixing Kamabo._

 _All will be revealed in due time…_

 _But at the moment I need to repair after this heinous crime._

 _Too many things to work on, not one should I miss,_

 _But for now I'll bid you farewell and a merry Squidmas…_

…

Wait, would you even celebrate that? What that was it humans celebrated? Wait, did I even explain who these people are?!

…Forget it…

I don't even know if you're still around to receive these messages...since you're so far behind on yours...

Then again, we didn't get the "ships destroyed" message from the black box…

Whatever…

Kamabo Repair Operation to Ark Orion: Out.

 **Message End...**


End file.
